I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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