Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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