There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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