dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
