i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
