in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
