Having a random hookup so left but love u
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
