also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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