do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
