you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
