Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
