We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
