then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
