yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
