so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Let the clothes fall where they may.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
