planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
