Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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