we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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