ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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