My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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