if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
