we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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