Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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