I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
