Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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