I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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