You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
