Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
