I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
