Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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