Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
