He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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