drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
