Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
