She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
