Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
