Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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