Don't make out with my wife yet
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There r osticjed everywhere
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
