he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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