Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
All I want is dick and wine.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
