In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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