hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How does one acquire holy water?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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