My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize