He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
