I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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