I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
