This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
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she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
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Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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