did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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