That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
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you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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