Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
