how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You did what with his pubic hair?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize