Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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