you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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