he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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