Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
wow bdsm is so cute
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