i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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