at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
