I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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