What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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