it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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