i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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