let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
