how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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