You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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