: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
