I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
